Academy of Arcane Science

Dear Mom and Dad;

How are you guys doing? I miss you all so much. I hope Cousin Mark’s hair is growing back; in the dark, he could have been the cat! You just don’t know!

And please put a flower on the cat’s grave for me.

We just had our midterms today, and they were SO TOUGH! But those books I stole borrowed from the library in Bruma really did the trick. Where would we be without Teacher’s Editions!

I got ten points off my Conjuration test because the prof thought it kinda tasteless that I would wear necromancer robes to school. I was all like, WTF? These aren’t NECRO ROBES! They’re the tour robes I bought the last time DEATH2U came through town. I LOVE that band! The guitarist is kinda dorky, but the lead singer could take me anywhere he wants.

Anyway, what with all the studying and having to buy all these parchments and quills, could you maybe send me a little gold? A couple hundred would be perfect!

Thanks! LOVE YOU!!!!!

Leyawiin, my old home town

I moved to Leyawiin, in Oblivion. Bought a house. It’s a rat-trap. I keep it dark because any candle could burn the whole place down. Most nights, I sit and wait for television to be invented, but sometimes I wander about. I made the clothes of everyone at a swank dinner party disappear. That was pretty funny. Laughed all the way to jail for that one. I think the Countess may someday forgive me, but I’m not holding my breath.

I patched things up with the Count by taking me and my orc friend Mazoga off to bump tusks with Black Brugo. The Count was so happy to find him dead that he made us Knights-Errant of the White Stallion, with a shield and everything (but no white stallion to ride…). He also gave us keys to the exclusive, posh estate outside of town, the White Stallion Lodge.

When I got there, the ‘guys’ were kinda shocked to see I was a girl. Well, they got over that pretty quick… and I decided to wait for Mazoga to show up… outside… we’ll go get some black bows for the Count, but no way I’m going in that lodge again.

Floors are sticky. And I don’t want to know from what.

A Pressing Obliviation

Yes, and my apologies to my friends in EQ1, EQ2 and WoW, but I have been Obliviated. I went to Fry’s for a coax cable, got involved in a little Guitar Hero dueling, and bought Oblivion. Yes, I know it’s popular and everyone is playing it… and for once, I wanted to be part of something everyone else was doing. I wanted to be Pepsi.

I spent half an hour bumping into walls and knocking food to the floor (which somewhat distracted the rats which kept tracking me) before I got my bearings. I haven’t seen an interface for a PC game so obviously meant for a console since… FFXI, I guess. I should probably dig out the PC Gamepad I used for FFXI.

The introduction doubles as a tutorial. But the game is watching you… seeing what you do, what choices you make… I played through it as I thought a druid might play. Because I wanted to be a druid, if they had that class. The game said, good luck with that. You’re an assassin. I protested. I took the assassin class and gave it some bow skills and a little bit of destruction magic and a little bit of restoration magic and called it Ranger.

Meet Etha Tanglewood the Fifth (EQ1 druid, DAoC druid, EQ2 defiler for a change, WoW back to druid), ranger.

It was a long, long road, getting back to the Imperial City. Ironically, she started from there… but with one thing or another, stuff that kept coming up… like Vamprism… combined with a Ryouga-like lack of direction (Dude! Where’s My Horse?) meant I was pretty cranky by the time I came to town. I wasn’t in the mood for some fat, obsequious spell merchant to give me a hard time on prices.

Time to pull out the Haggler.

The city watch hates it when this sort of thing happens. Good thing I’m a quick thinker.

All’s well that ends well. I saved the dead Emperor’s son. Joined the elite Blades. Working my way up the ranks of the Mage guild. Yeah, that was me that killed the Vampire Matriarch, got this snazzy chain armor.

More later!

Nightmares

I have been playing too much Oblivion lately. And I didn’t feed my cat last night before bed – he’d shared my chicken at supper, I didn’t want to confuse his tummy too much. And he has been sick with a horrid skin infection to boot.

So maybe that explains the dream.

Things were ticking along in the subterranean mecha-opolis I visit often in sleep. Is that why I always identified with the Morlocks? I dunno. I was with a friend; I am pretty sure this friend had once been a cat. It may have been Nostromo (the cat mentioned above). But as I write this, I think it may have been Lochinvar.

Lochinvar died of a thyroid condition a couple summers back. I knew he had it before we left Monterey, but after I moved to San Diego, I didn’t follow up on his treatment, and when he got sick again, there was nothing to be done, and he died. I promised Nostromo I would not neglect his health as I did Lochinvar’s… but I played Oblivion until late, and did not give him his nightly medicine.

So in dreams, I and my feline friend were on a tall building; an unfinished one, with scaffolding all around it, and we were on the scaffolding. This building was tall beyond measure. And after awhile, we jumped off it.

People can survive great falls. I think the record is over 30,000 feet. It helps to fall down a snowy mountain. My friend and I didn’t fall onto a snowy mountain, so we died.

But we were still around. No pulse, no sleep, no eating. Just not alive. People began to avoid us. And after awhile, people began to disappear from the world, and I realized it was pretty much all over.

Shades of Ubik.