Dear Creature

Someone started a whine thread about getting ganked in the Gurabashi Arena with that title, but with a title like “Dear Creature”, I was kind of expecting a “Dear Abby”-like thread… a la:

Dear Creature: Hi, I am a Tauren Hunter, feral spec, with a lovely hyena companion named “Cat”. I really love Cat, but sometimes when we’re having sex, he bites and scratches and gets very mean. I told him I would get a new pet if he didn’t stop, and he threatened to kill me. What should I do?

(Creature replies:) Dear Tauren Hunter: Arrrrr I be dead rogue thing, I crawl inside his mouth and cut him open from the stomach, arrrrr! Then I skin him! And then I kill him! ARR! And make a coat from his skin!

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Web developer for a Connecticut-based insurance company that's over 200 years old! Also a bicycler, a blogger, a kayaker, and a hunter of bridges.